We know these words from typical wedding vows. We say these vows in marriage as a promise to take care of each other through everything that life brings our way. We vow our lives to one another. But what we don’t think about is how soon these trials will come our way.
We got married at 23 and 24. Both young, in love, heathy, happy, and stable. Loving the honeymoon phase. Talking about starting a family, a new house, new job, planning vacations…
We were happy. We were stable. We were healthy. We were strong. We were ready to start a family. We were planning possible trips for our 1 year anniversary. We were okay.
September 19, 2022….
We woke up go ready for our day. One of us heading to work. One of us went back to sleep.
5:58 AM
One of us is lying on a pavement. One of us is sleeping in bed. One of us has a broken leg. One of us is sleeping in bed. One of us is bleeding through their pants. One of us is sleeping in bed. One of us is holding a bone in their hand. One of us is sleeping in bed. One of us is scared to death. One of us is sleeping in bed. One of us calling 911. One of us is sleeping in bed. One of us is being loaded into an ambulance. One of us is sleeping in bed. One of us is going to the hospital.
He’s the one feeling the immediate pain. I’m the one lying in bed…
6:30 AM
One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us is getting a phone call. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us just got news there was an accident. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us learned the other one is badly hurt. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us is breaking on the phone. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us learned there is at least a broken leg. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us gets off the phone and starts bawling. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us immediately calls other family members to tell them the news. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us runs around the house grabbing everything they can think of. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital. One of us jumps in the car and starts driving as fast and safely as they can. One of us is lying in a bed in a hospital.
He’s the one now lying in the bed. I’m the one just now feeling the pain…
8:15 AM
I make it to the hospital and am immediately ushered into a waiting room. I can’t see him. I can’t talk to him. I can’t touch him. I’m waiting. Waiting for anything they can give me.
8:26 AM
2 hours after I first got the call. I can finally see him. He’s lying there in agony. He’s strapped down and can’t move. He’s trying to tell me what happened. The pain is getting worse. They’re trying to do some additional scans. He’s yelling now. He’s awake. He’s out. He’s awake. He’s out. He’s awake. He’s out.
Is no one concerned? Why isn’t he getting more medicine? Is it just the leg? What are they going to do? Why isn’t anyone telling me anything? Why aren’t we getting answers?
9:56 AM
They finally move us to outside of the OR. They are talking to us, telling us the next steps. He’s yelling again. I’ve pressed the nurse button 3 times so far. Where is everyone? Why isn’t anyone helping us? I’m telling him it’s going to be okay. It’ll be any minute now. They’re coming. It’ll be over soon.
I have no idea when they’re coming. I have no idea if it’ll be over soon. I have no way to know. I can’t stop the pain. I’m helpless.
11:28 AM
They finally come and get him. Finally he goes into surgery.
I move to the waiting room to wait until I know more. I’m told it’ll be around 2 hours.
1:30 PM
I hear nothing.
1:45 PM
Still nothing.
2:00 PM
Still nothing.
2:11 PM
He’s finally out of surgery. The surgeon comes and tells me it went well, but it’s only the beginning and we will have to keep an eye on it.
I still can’t see him.
2:45PM
Waiting.
3:00PM
Waiting.
3:30 PM
Waiting.
3:40
Finally. I get to see him.
What I wasn’t prepared for was all the change so suddenly. Why was this happening to us. He’s only 24! We haven’t even celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary. What do we do now? How long until he can walk again? Why now? Why him? Anyone but him. This isn’t fair.
NOW – November 7th 2022 – 1 day after our 1 year
He’s come a long way. The pain has mostly subsided and is more manageable. He’s in better spirits. He’s getting more independent. He’s getting stronger day by day. The road to recovery is a long one but it’s not impossible. It looks like closer to a year before things return to normal, and even still he may never fully regain feeling in part of his leg or full mobility. But I refuse to believe that.
The strongest man I know has been to hell and back the last two months and has only come out stronger. He has pushed through the pain: physical and emotional. He has overcome so many obstacles. He has fought the demons and continues to fight the ones plague his mind. He has pushed when pushing feels impossible. He has fought for himself and for us.
Ten months into our marriage our lives changed drastically and forever. These last two months have been hard and have felt impossible at times. Our roles changed significantly. I became his 24/7 nurse. I tended to his every need, often when I didn’t feel up to it or didn’t know how. I stepped into shoes I never thought I would have to fill at 25. I spoke up and told off people I never imagined I would have to. I fought for him and for us every second since I got that phone call. I pushed aside my own wants, needs, thoughts, feelings. I focused solely on him. I did everything for him. And I won’t apologize to anyone for how I handled things. I did what I felt was best for him and for us. Always have and always will.
If the roles were reversed I know he would have done the same without thinking twice about it. And I would do it all over again if I had to. Although I hope and pray it doesn’t happen again. But that’s life. We know nothing about what is going to happen and we need to be willing to drop and change everything in a heartbeat.
A year and a day ago I married my best friend. I said I do to my whole world and felt that my life finally started.
This past year hasn’t been perfect and we’ve had our fits and arguments, but we never stayed angry with each other. We never gave up. We pushed and we fought through everything life handed us.
These last two months have showed us that we can get through everything. We are only as strong as we build each other to be. We don’t tear each other down. We push and we fight together. We grow stronger together. We have overcome so many challenges in this first year that I have no doubts this is a forever thing. I never had any doubts. It just solidified my belief and my love for my incredible husband.
Here’s to another chapter in our book of forever. Hopefully, this time without any more broken bones.
Forever and a day. ❤
Interpreting the World through my eyes 